Letters That I Never Opened
by pianogrl16
Summary: Each night Gabriella would lie in bed for a few seconds before falling asleep, but before those few seconds, she would stare back at a box filled with memories of a past life that she had lived, with a boy.
1. Chapter 1

_Summary: Each night Gabriella would lie in bed for a few seconds before falling asleep, but before those few seconds, she would stare back at a box filled with memories of a past life that she had lived, with a boy. _

_The italics are Gabriella's thoughts. _

_**Letters that I Never Opened **_

Every night, Gabriella would exhaustingly drive home from work, slip her shoes off, take a shower, put her pajamas on, and immediately go to bed. Her long shifts and workaholic nature had deprived her of sleep and each night, she would comfortably lie in bed, secretly dreaming of waking up to a different life, because the life that she had been leading now was misled, predictable, and lonely. This empty apartment with no laughter and no joy had deprived her of happiness, so she had thrown herself in her work just to avoid the pain of being alone, for being alone was the worst emotion that one can feel, especially an extremely vulnerable person like herself.

But every night, a few seconds before she lay to sleep, she would stare at the old, worn, tattered brown box in the dusty corner of the night table reminiscing, until she fell to sleep, repeating the same cycle again.

_This was her life now, and despite how much she would do to gain everything back, she knew the rest of her life was the price to pay for leaving the boy that she had once loved, the friends that had held her in her heart, and the mother that had sacrificed everything. She had left them for supposidedly a new start, a better life, when really the life that she led now was a lie. She was living a life of a lie, and most of all, she was a lie. _

_She said she was happy to everyone, convinced that she had a Cinderella story, made it from the bottom of the business to being one of the most powerful women in New York. But really, the insides of her ached and pained her until there was no longer any emptiness to bear and she had to move on, choking back the tears as she woke up from her nightmare of a life again. _

Gabriella never opened the box each night, and claimed to herself that she would never have time too, but when she sat down on her bed on a stormy day-off, she realized she had no excuse anymore and stood up and reached for the tattered, torn box. Once sitting down with it, she opened it and filled with letters, memorabilia, and photos of her past life, she sat rummaging through it, finally finding an envelope at the bottom, titled _Gabriella. _

It was the letter. The letter that she had received from him a few years back. She was too stubborn to open it. She refused too, even after she found out about the tragedy that had occurred exactly 1 year ago. The news about him struck her hard, but she knew if she went back home, her mother and friends would only make it worst.

But once she had finally touched the letter again, and felt nostalgia and waves of memories coming over her, all she could do was slowly tear it open and a sheet of paper with messy handwriting and a strip of paper with an address.

_June 25 _

_Dear Gabriella, _

_It's been years, years since I've spoken or communicated with you in any sort of way, and I have no idea how to start now. You won't believe how many sheets of papers I've thrown, letters I've torn, and the amount of effort I have put in just to be able to write something perfect for you. But I can't, because all these years I still can't manage to breathe or speak or focus around even though you are still not here with me. But what I can manage to say now, and blurt it out without feeling ashamed is that I love you, I hate to express that here, but I do. I don't know how else too, but I'm afraid to talk on the phone with you, so I could only do this through a letter that comes from every inch of my heart. Loving you is forever, or rather, forever's not enough to love someone, especially someone like you. Forever is a long time obviously, but no matter how many letters I write, how many other women I date, and how many times I try to say good-bye, I will never be able to stop loving you forever. I've tried, believe me, but I can't. Ever since I met you, I can't stop thinking about you, wishing you were here. I know we ended things badly but like I said, I will always love you forever and still, forever is not enough. Forever's not enough to love a person, no matter how many days, how many hours, how many minutes, or how many seconds one lives. For no one can measure the time it takes to love someone, for love is the deepest mystery that we can all endure, measuring love is like predicting the world will end at tomorrow, 3 years from now, 500 years from now. So through this mystery that God has given us, we must all rejoice every single day, every single moment and time, and capture it in our hearts and minds forever, for love is unpredictable and can stop at any moment, and no matter how long forever lasts, the amount of love from one person is enough to make us withstand for more than that. With the love that we shared before, you helped me into a better man, Gabriella, and with that I owe you everything, I hope you live a great life, and no matter what, I hope you remember our letters. _

_Love, _

_Troy _

Gabriella cried, for the mother she had lost, for the friends she had hurt, for the broken life that she led, for the years she had wasted, for the life she had once loved, and for the man that had died that she had never gotten the chance to say good-bye to.

**This story will be extremely angsty, just giving you a note of that. However, there will be some Troyella moments in here and the story will be consisted of flashbacks. Sorry, it may remain confusing now, but it will all clear up. **


	2. Chapter 2

She had finally opened the remains of her past life.

Gabriella finally admitted to herself that she needed to get over herself and face reality. Troy wasn't coming back, he was never going too, and dust was collecting on her boxes anyways.

She opened boxes that consisted of memories of who used to be the old Gabriella: Beautiful, vibrant, kind-hearted, and filled with a love of life that was irreplaceable and rare nowadays in the cold, rigid city of New York.

But even as she polished picture frames, laughed over her old journals, and smiled over her past superlatives on her old yearbooks from East High, she would never bring herself to read the past letters that she had once sent with her first love. How could anyone bring themselves to that much pain?

She soon set out the picture frames of her and Taylor winning the Decathlon, typed up her Valedictorian speech from so long ago, and framed it near her bedside table, and had even gone back to listening to her old Twinkle Towne CD. But the letters still remained in the box, collecting dust, and were too sacred to still be opened again.

As Gabriella started rummaging through another box, she came across an old gift from her mother.

_Mi hija, _

_This antique necklace was is an old and sacred tradition in our family. Keep it close to your heart and whenever you wear it, remember your ancestors and the tradition you are carrying on as a Montez, Latina woman. You are strong, beautiful, intelligent, and independent and have a bright future ahead of you. You will influence the world someday, my daughter. But while you are doing that, please manage to keep in touch with your past. _

_All my love, _

_Mama _

Gabriella looked sadly through the rest of the box, at old scrapbooks of her mother, at old pictures of the three generations of the Montez family, through notes and letters that her mother had sent her before, but she was too ignorant to look through them, she saw the life of a woman who had given everything for her, but the woman she had betrayed and hurt just to forget an old life. Her mother didn't deserve this, no woman did. Her mother was the reason for her success and though it took years until now to admit it, Gabriella missed her.

And with that, she picked up her cell phone.

"Hi, Sally? Yeah, I'm your client, Gabriella Montez? I need a ticket to Albuquerque, New Mexico, tomorrow night."


	3. Chapter 3

**Forever's Not Enough Chapter 3**

Over the course of her 26 year old life, Gabriella Montez had always been a worry wart. Every homework grade, quiz, test, project, any academic reward of great magnitude, she always stressed herself over throughout the course of her rigorous and incredibly successful academic career.

She also constantly over thought too much and analyzed everything more than a person needed too.

So all of these characteristics did not suit well for the young woman as she was sitting anxiously in a filthy cab in the dark of night…

Her hands fidgeted, her eyes averted everywhere, and she shook her foot and toes to somehow shake off all the worry existing in her body. Two words were replaying over and over in her head: _Calm down. _

She took deep breaths and pulled out her _Time_ magazine to distract her.

Nothing was working.

And it wasn't helping that the taxi cab was now approaching her former house, late at night.

She was sad and nostalgic over the lost memories that had existed in this very neighborhood. This was her only true home, Albuquerque held so many dear moments and landmark times in her life as a growing and blossoming young woman, it had a magnificent and magical aura to it that could not be replaced with the glitz and glamour of New York City life.

This, she realized, was now where she truly belonged.

She comprehended and understood this as she opened the cab door and breathed in the smell of midnight, the stars gleaming up above her, when she used to count them on her balcony, when she couldn't sleep, the stars that had gleamed above her when Troy had sang to her after their ridiculous fights.

It was astounding how much history existed here…

She retrieved her two Kate Spade luggage out of the back and paid the driver, finally pushing herself to go ahead and ring the doorbell.

I mean, it had only been 8 years since she had seen her mother, right?

She set the luggage down once she reached the porch, and rang the doorbell, awaiting to what the resulting outcome would be once the fateful moment of when her mother opened the door would arrive.

Yeah, she definitely over thought too much.

After 3 doorbell rings, Gabriella rang it a fourth consecutive time, wrapping her white trench coat around her tighter and gripping her Chanel tote bag with great strength. Goodness, if she could still remember where the spare key was….

Finally, the door had opened, revealing the woman who had given her life on the other side.

However, the beautiful woman that she had once known had vanished right before her eyes. The woman in front of her instead had red, swollen eyes with bags under them, and baggy sweats, her hair appeared uncombed, and her skin looked gray, no longer was she the vibrant, full of life mother but instead an exhausted and drained one, which broke Gabriella's heart once she fully looked at her for the first time in years.

"Gabriella?" Isabella Montez's eyes went larger, and she pulled a strand of hair behind her face to get a fuller look.

"Mi hija? Is that you?"

Gabriella smirked and shrugged her shoulders. "Hi Mama."


	4. Chapter 4

**Letters That I Never Opened Chapter 4**

_"Gabriella?" Isabella Montez's eyes went larger, and she pulled a strand of hair behind her face to get a fuller look. _

_"Mi hija? Is that you?" _

_Gabriella smirked and shrugged her shoulders. "Hi Mama." _

Isabella used to be beautiful. Vibrant. Flamboyant. Brilliant. And infectious.

But after her daughter, her source of life, the one that she had leaned on to the most, and the one that she looked to as her legacy, had disappeared from her life, she had become the opposite of what she had used to be. Tired. Emotionless. Dull. Depressed. Miserable.

8 years later, however, everything would finally come to life again, and when it seemed like everything would go downhill, it turns out that things could change hopefully, for the better.

"Gabriella, I can't believe it!" She rushed in her daughter, opening the door wider and closing it, and taking her luggage with her. "What are you doing out there in the cold, taking a flight like that in the middle of the night? Hija, are you crazy?" The feisty Latina woman had finally snapped back to her original self.

"Mama, I missed you," Gabriella said, tears filling up her vision. Crying had already taken most of the hours of her days anyways.

Isabella looked at Gabriella in shock. For all the years she's known her only daughter, Gabriella had never really opened up her emotions; she was an extremely guarded yet vulnerable person. But this Gabriella, this Gabriella assured her that everything would finally be all right, because this Gabriella showed her that she wasn't the only one that felt a piece of her was missing too.

Isabella walked towards her daughter slowly until finally wrapping her arms around her. "A mi tambien, Gabriella. A mi tambien."

Gabriella had woken up at 12:00 noon, her hair messy and tangled, and her eyes red and bloodshot. She was dead tired, but still excited at the prospect of feeling like a growing adolescent again.

She looked at her old room, the room where it had once been an embodiment of self-expression and a reflection of who she was. Lately, though, Gabriella didn't know who she was anymore.

And that's why she had come back…

And now….it was all starting to fit into place

She walked downstairs to the smell of warm chocolate chip waffles and scrambled eggs and glasses of orange juice were set out. Her mother's hair was now combed nicely and she was wearing the former bright clothing she had used to wear.

"Gabriella, come su desayuno."

She set out a waffle with a smiley face plastered on it with whipped cream and strawberries and her mother sat next to her with a warm cup of coffee.

"Como estas, Gabriella?"

"Estoy muy cansada, Mama."

Gabriella proceeded with drinking her orange juice and looked out at the window of bright sunshine in the morning.

"Why did you decide to come back, Gabi?"

Her mother set her cup down and stared at her, interested.

"I don't like the person I'm becoming, mom."

Her mom nodded in understanding and put her hand over hers.

"The Gabriella that you raised would have never left home like that, without a word, and have gone on in her life, without keeping in touch with her own mother or friends or family. My life has no more meaning to it anymore and I'm going to fix that. I am, that's why I'm here. To rebuild and start over."

"Gabriella, what are you going to do, move your company to New Mexico?"

"I don't know, Mama. I have no idea."

"You can stay as long as you like, Gabriella. But just so you know, I do love the idea of you moving in with me. But everything is up to you, I trust you as an adult."

"I've made some pretty irresponsible decisions, Mom. Just so you know."

"I know, but with you admitting that and making the realization of it, I think you'll be fine. You got this far without me, right?"

Gabriella shook her head in disagreement. "I know, but it would've been so much more if you were there."

She smiled at that thought.

"How's Taylor, mom?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. Last I heard, she accepted Harvard and had already moved to Cambridge."

"And the Boltons?"

Isabella frowned. "I don't know. I know that Linda and Coach Bolton were last grieving over the accident, oh Gabriella, the funeral was just horrible and morbid. You should've seen how much sadness was there. I've been to funerals, and all are sad, but none like Troy's."

"I should've been there though, Mom."

"I made a terrible mistake."

Gabriella looked down in shame.

"You can't change the past, Gabriella, but you have an affect on the future. You can make what's broken right again."

"I know, but what I did to Troy was unforgivable and yet he still gave me a letter of forgiveness and love. The kind of decency like that is astounding to me, it's something I will never be able to understand I am a writer. I'm supposed to be the good one, but ever since senior year and NYU, everything fell apart, Mom. I miss the old one."

"Then fix it, Gabriella. You can go back to who you were before if you take the time to build up what made you happy before."

"I will. I'm going too. And I'm never going back to New York again."

**A mi tambien-Me too **

**Mi hija-My daughter **

**Como estas-How are you **

**Estoy muy cansada-I feel very tired **

**Come su desayuno-Eat your breakfast **


	5. Chapter 5

**Note: If you looked in the beginning first chapter, I had first noted that there would be some confusion here, because not everything will be explained right away, you have to be patient, and I know that I have some reviews wondering that, but you have to wait and see and everything will clear up. Not all flashbacks are in chronological order also in this chapter. **

**Gabriella's separation and estrangement from her friends will not be explained here yet, but in each chapter, it will be revealed piece by piece until the whole thing is explained. I just beg you, please be patient. **

**Anyway, with that rant, I give you my next chapter. **

**Letters that I Never Opened Chapter 5**

She had just about moved everything in. After booking a flight to New York to gain back all her stuff and talk to her real estate agent on selling her apartment, her long, dragging two weeks in New York couldn't go by fast enough.

That and she had decided to move her literary company to Albuquerque.

This new career move had shocked the rest of New York, as one of the most powerful women in New York was not going to be in New York any longer.

Her dream, her long standing dream of living and working in the center of the world, and she had ended up right back where had first dreamt, and as she looked around her neighborhood, she realized that this truly was the dream place she was meant to be in.

Amazing where life took you sometimes…

After moving in all of her things to a quaint little house on Riverweed Boulevard, she had also taken herself to develop a quieter and more domestic living than the glitzy, glamorous one of before. She had planted a garden of roses, baked cupcakes for the little girls next door, and even started putting home touches on her new office for the company.

Now she finally fit…and that lonely, bottomless feeling she had felt before was now slowly piecing itself back together and now she finally found who she was before, reserved, quiet, and caring Gabriella.

But she still wouldn't be able to piece her life back together if she didn't face her former demons first.

Which was why she was standing at a place that represented so much of her adolescence 8 years ago. She stood with a peace offering of cheese cake. With an Ella Moss dress on and a black trench coat over it with pumps, she got dolled up for the occasion to impress them. Impress her past. Impress the impending confrontation that would arise from this.

Her worry wart nature finally rested when the door opened, revealing an older looking Linda Bolton on the other side of the door, with jeans and a sweater on, her hair swept up in a bun.

"May I help you?"

"Mrs. Bolton? It's me, Gabriella Montez?"

Linda's eyes grew wide. "Gabriella Montez. Look what life has brought me now."

She came out of the door to give her a small hug and patted her arm. "You are so beautiful now, Gabriella. Just as always. I didn't recognize you."

She let go of her and waved her inside.

"Come in, sweetheart. You came just in time, Brooke and her friends are out now, and my husband is out training."

Gabriella followed in, her eyes looking everywhere towards the walls, and antique furniture that had remained the same since she had last stepped here that fateful day she had left for New York.

"I had heard that you were moving here through some magazine. But I thought it was a rumor. If I knew, I would have called you."

She motioned for her to sit down in the living room and thanked her for the cake, rushing it in the kitchen. She came back out and saw down across from her, against the roaring fire place.

"So, what brings you here, Gabriella?"

"Truthfully, I wanted to talk to you about everything before, Mrs. Bolton."

"Linda."

"Linda, I missed you a lot. You were almost a second mother to me, and I cared about you. I still do and I wanted to know if we would be okay."

"What happened in the past stays in the past, Gabriella. I don't care what you did at 17."

"I made some stupid decisions back then."

"Yes you did, and let me tell you, that hurt Troy for the rest of his life. It scarred him and leaving your mother the way that you did was terrible and stupid of you, plus very surprising from a girl that is supposed to be brilliant."

Gabriella looked down, ashamed.

"How hurt was Troy?"

"You were his wife, Gabriella. Leaving him without a word is beyond hurt. That, and you lied to him. You betrayed him and that scarred him that scarred him until the day he died. And you didn't even keep in touch."

"Linda, I know I hurt your son and what I did, marrying him and then leaving him in a span of 6 months is unforgivable, but I want you to know, what I was young, and I made a terrible mistake. I was scared, frightened, and I wasn't prepared at the challenges ahead at married life. I know the truth is long overdue, but I said it, that's the truth to my demons and all I can do is accept that."

Linda sighed.

"I'm sorry, Linda. I'm sorry about the mistakes and the cost to what Troy had to suffer through. I truly am sorry, but the reason I came here is because I want your forgiveness. It is the only way I can be able to live with myself any longer."

"Gabriella, honey, Troy forgave you a long time ago. I'm bitter, and I blamed you for what happened because the cost of a son is devastating and the only way to make myself feel better is to blame the nearest person. Truthfully, I forgave you a long time ago because unbelievably, I know what it is like to be young, and we all make stupid decisions."

"I forgive you, Gabriella. That is the truth."

Linda gulped nervously and smiled after the remaining silence which had followed. "So, now, that we've gotten that settled…"

Linda stood up.

"I want to give you something important."

Gabriella gasped at the beautiful sight. Before her, was a gorgeous diamond ring of 2 karats in a red velvet box.

"Linda, I can't take this."

"What do you expect me to do with it, Gabriella?"

She laughed.

"He had saved it for forever. And he was going to give it to you as a Christmas gift."

"That boy wanted it to be a promise ring for you, but he decided to propose after you decided to go to U of A with him."

She took the ring out of the box and put it on her finger.

"Fits perfectly," Gabriella whispered.

"He would've wanted to see how it would fit you. I do too since I've had it for all these years."

Gabriella almost cried at how perfect the ring was, the size, the shape, everything. Troy had always known her inside and out, and this realization broke her heart each moment, each second, as time passed by.

"He really loved you, you know?"

Linda put a hand to her delicate face.

"He was crazy about you, Gabriella. And despite how angry he was with you, and how angry everyone else was with you, nothing ever changed how he felt for you. That's what probably scarred him the most."

"I loved him, too." Gabriella muttered quietly.

Looking back at Linda with teary eyes and a sorrowful expression, she slowly took off the ring, placing it delicately back into the velvet box.

She bit her lip and looked down. "More so, than I ever thought I could."


End file.
